I have a propensity to run with an idea before giving it time to take root. The late Dan Dehan once told a group of us that “truth is never yours until the truth is you” or i.e. until our heart is truly transformed by truth it is at best merely a good opinion.
I love to teach and share what I am learning. Whether that is from a genuine desire to help others or merely my ego seeking approval and praise I do not know I simply know that it is me. As with all who teach I run into the danger of being deceived that simply knowing about something and communicating it well means I possess the truth I teach. Not so.
So I ask myself and the Lord what truth has been shown me that I have taught and yet given the least attention to in my own life? The response in my heart was quick, clear and gentle; the meaning and purpose of life comes down to one word, relationships, first with God and then with others.
In the movie “The Family Man” Nicolas Cage is an unfaithful, ungrateful husband that is given a second chance at life. In one very poignant scene his wife played by Tea Leoni tells him of all the things she could have done in life, all the success, power, and comfort, etc that she could have had but as she says “ I chose us”. She “sacrificed” all of that in favor of the relationship.
I am sure I will have more to say on this later hopefully as a result of living it out.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Thursday At The Beach
As many of you know my mother passed away only a couple of weeks ago. The transition is difficult. Having counseled and comforted others through such times I find myself in a “physician heal thyself” situation.
As He always does, God has comforted me. Through the encouragement and prayers of family and friends He has showed up.
At the funeral it struck me that there was someone from every season of mine life and my mother’s life were present in that room. People that she and I both count as most dear together at one time in one place. Some whom I had not seen in awhile, together now to show their love for my mom our family.
I find I am very reflective and introspective. I am 54 years old. I look behind and before me. I long to finish well. I long to love as I am loved. I think I have wasted enough time on my agendas.
My wife has this illustration she calls a week at the beach. She says that sometimes our lives are like a week at the beach. Monday is full excitement and fun. Hope fills us; we have a whole week at the beach. We unpack, settle in, go to the beach, and survey the shops and restaurants.
Tuesday we explore, play in the water go shopping, take in the scenery. We mark out the things we want to do before we leave. Oh this is heaven.
Wednesday is much like Tuesday but now we can revisit the things we missed on Monday and Tuesday. Take our time and linger. We return to those shops that most impressed us. We talk and laugh long into the night the ocean waves applauding our wisdom.
Then Thursday comes. We realize there are only a few days left. There is this sense to enjoy as much as we can, redeem the time. Now we know that the vacation is coming to an end each moment is more precious. Our conversation on the evening walk along the beach turns to deeper things.
Friday, much the same, but with more intensity.
Saturday, soak up the beauty. Appreciate the simple; soon it will be time to leave the beach. This season is about done.
At different seasons of our life she will periodically smile and say "It is Monday at the beach" or "Tuesday, etc."
With my mother’s passing I am reminded that life is short and wonderful. Jesus redeemed my life. Where would I be today if He had not? Looking around the room at the funeral I was reminded how deeply I love these people. How indeed I have no “story” apart from them.
It’s Thursday at the beach. I am not talking about dying, just the opposite. I need to live and finish well.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
A Tim Tale
My friend Joel ask that I post one of my more humorous adventures so here goes... I originally sent this as an email to some friends.
It seemed like a good idea at the time….
You see I had been hiking at Dan Daniels Park the day before and was very conscious that this was tick season. I checked carefully after my hike and was relieved to find no parasites.
The next morning however, courtesy of my wonderful cat that felt compelled to rub against my shin repeatedly, on taking the boys to the bus stop, I find a tick. No problem I give it a pull, but I won’t budge. Hmm…my mom always said to burn the little suckers so as to get the whole thing out.
I get home and cannot find matches. Then it hits, “ why not freeze it!” So I go downstairs and find my can of compressed air. I give the tick one more pull with tweezers, and it is a no go. Time for operation freeze.
It stung a bit but it not only came off, it SHATTERED. Good deal, although my leg had a significant red spot. No problem I thought.
Until the next morning when the red spot had grown, a knot was forming under the skin, it itched and hurt. That did not seem right. Better not tell Carolyn; she will make me go the doctor. And definitely don’t mention operation freeze…
Until Wednesday when the knot, well…. it burst. And then turned black. Time to tell the wife.
So now it is Thursday and I am at the doctors. The nurse does the prep work, you know fever check, blood pressure etc… Then she asks what happened.
“Well I had a tick and I froze it off with a can of compressed air, and then it turned red and then… Do I have frostbite or bite infection?
She smiled.”Both”
The doctor comes in next. I tell her about the bite and show her the wound.
“How did you get it off? Did you get it all?”
“Yep I froze it with a can of compressed air and it shattered”. I sounded so proud.
She smiled; you know the smile women do when men are being men.
“Freezing. That explains the skin burns. You have a bite infection all right and damaged tissue from the freezing (frostbite). You will need a tetanus shot, it is pretty nasty and antibiotics.”
OK.
As she was leaving I said “I bet you will love telling this to your husband tonight!”
“Oh no. If I did he would try it.”
As she went out the door she turned and with a wry smile said, “Oh and Tim, don’t do this anymore ok?”
“Yes Mam”
Only me! This is almost as good as the time when we found bricks in the woods while playing army.
“Hey guys you know what we can do with these bricks!” But that is another story…
It seemed like a good idea at the time….
You see I had been hiking at Dan Daniels Park the day before and was very conscious that this was tick season. I checked carefully after my hike and was relieved to find no parasites.
The next morning however, courtesy of my wonderful cat that felt compelled to rub against my shin repeatedly, on taking the boys to the bus stop, I find a tick. No problem I give it a pull, but I won’t budge. Hmm…my mom always said to burn the little suckers so as to get the whole thing out.
I get home and cannot find matches. Then it hits, “ why not freeze it!” So I go downstairs and find my can of compressed air. I give the tick one more pull with tweezers, and it is a no go. Time for operation freeze.
It stung a bit but it not only came off, it SHATTERED. Good deal, although my leg had a significant red spot. No problem I thought.
Until the next morning when the red spot had grown, a knot was forming under the skin, it itched and hurt. That did not seem right. Better not tell Carolyn; she will make me go the doctor. And definitely don’t mention operation freeze…
Until Wednesday when the knot, well…. it burst. And then turned black. Time to tell the wife.
So now it is Thursday and I am at the doctors. The nurse does the prep work, you know fever check, blood pressure etc… Then she asks what happened.
“Well I had a tick and I froze it off with a can of compressed air, and then it turned red and then… Do I have frostbite or bite infection?
She smiled.”Both”
The doctor comes in next. I tell her about the bite and show her the wound.
“How did you get it off? Did you get it all?”
“Yep I froze it with a can of compressed air and it shattered”. I sounded so proud.
She smiled; you know the smile women do when men are being men.
“Freezing. That explains the skin burns. You have a bite infection all right and damaged tissue from the freezing (frostbite). You will need a tetanus shot, it is pretty nasty and antibiotics.”
OK.
As she was leaving I said “I bet you will love telling this to your husband tonight!”
“Oh no. If I did he would try it.”
As she went out the door she turned and with a wry smile said, “Oh and Tim, don’t do this anymore ok?”
“Yes Mam”
Only me! This is almost as good as the time when we found bricks in the woods while playing army.
“Hey guys you know what we can do with these bricks!” But that is another story…
Monday, March 21, 2011
To Be Known
Galatians 4:8-9 “Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. 9 But now that you know God--or rather are known by God--how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? “
“The worst part of it all Tim was that I had to pay a total stranger to listen to my problems!" A friend blurted this out as he explained how difficult it was being away at seminary. There with so many Christians he thought for sure he would find fellowship and kindred spirits. And whereas he did make friends they lacked one essential ingredient. They did not “know” him.
Oh they knew his name, his testimony of how he came to Christ (this is important in seminary because they want to make sure you did it right), they knew his major etc. But when stress led to depression they did not know the signs. They had not lived with him, invested in his life, borne burdens with him, encouraged, loved, rebuked. You get the picture.
So in desperation he paid for counseling to help him work through his depression. It helped some, but he finally stopped out shear frustration. Coming home that fall for Christmas break he poured out his heart to us who knew him. Within a few days the light returned to his eyes. He laughed that old familiar laugh. We prayed and cried and prayed some more. Jesus was with us and as He is prone to do, He began to heal my brother.
To be known is so much more important for emotional and spiritual health than I ever imagined. Last year when I lost my job of 26 years I experienced the pain of not being known. What I called feeling alone was actually the absence of being known. Even now when I am with my former co-workers I come alive. My heart lightens. I can be myself, warts and all. They love me enough to tell me the truth and love me whether I listen or not. With them I am my “best” self. They have a way of bringing out the best in me. And to love them to bear their joys and sorrows I count and honor and privilege.
But to be known requires risk. You have to trust yourself to someone and hold him or her in trust. You have to take and interest in them and they in you. This is more than familiarity; it is community, which is a by-product of shared life journeys. You have to invest not expecting anything in return. The technical definition of this is love.
“The worst part of it all Tim was that I had to pay a total stranger to listen to my problems!" A friend blurted this out as he explained how difficult it was being away at seminary. There with so many Christians he thought for sure he would find fellowship and kindred spirits. And whereas he did make friends they lacked one essential ingredient. They did not “know” him.
Oh they knew his name, his testimony of how he came to Christ (this is important in seminary because they want to make sure you did it right), they knew his major etc. But when stress led to depression they did not know the signs. They had not lived with him, invested in his life, borne burdens with him, encouraged, loved, rebuked. You get the picture.
So in desperation he paid for counseling to help him work through his depression. It helped some, but he finally stopped out shear frustration. Coming home that fall for Christmas break he poured out his heart to us who knew him. Within a few days the light returned to his eyes. He laughed that old familiar laugh. We prayed and cried and prayed some more. Jesus was with us and as He is prone to do, He began to heal my brother.
To be known is so much more important for emotional and spiritual health than I ever imagined. Last year when I lost my job of 26 years I experienced the pain of not being known. What I called feeling alone was actually the absence of being known. Even now when I am with my former co-workers I come alive. My heart lightens. I can be myself, warts and all. They love me enough to tell me the truth and love me whether I listen or not. With them I am my “best” self. They have a way of bringing out the best in me. And to love them to bear their joys and sorrows I count and honor and privilege.
But to be known requires risk. You have to trust yourself to someone and hold him or her in trust. You have to take and interest in them and they in you. This is more than familiarity; it is community, which is a by-product of shared life journeys. You have to invest not expecting anything in return. The technical definition of this is love.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
A Long Drive
Although it was only an hour drive it felt like much longer. I was traveling to comfort a friend but that was not what was making this drive so long. You see someone I love deeply had done something that to me was out of character. I was hurt, disappointed, confused.
“I do not understand my feelings and thoughts Lord. Please Lord meet with me. Give me Your perspective.”
As the miles rolled by and I thought and prayed a question began to form in my heart.
“If the ones you love have to travel a broken road to reach Me and that road does not pass through you, will you be OK with that?”
Mile after mile the question came to me. I am ashamed to say I struggled to answer in the affirmative. The depth of my selfishness surprised and disappointed me. Finally I heard myself say out loud “Lord Jesus as long as they are yours. That is all I really want.”
Then a second question deeper and more unsettling than the first.
“Do you love them for who they are or for who you want them to be?” Odd, even His rebukes are sweet.
“I want to love them like you do Jesus.”
It has been several years now since all this transpired. Those two questions still echo in my heart.
“I do not understand my feelings and thoughts Lord. Please Lord meet with me. Give me Your perspective.”
As the miles rolled by and I thought and prayed a question began to form in my heart.
“If the ones you love have to travel a broken road to reach Me and that road does not pass through you, will you be OK with that?”
Mile after mile the question came to me. I am ashamed to say I struggled to answer in the affirmative. The depth of my selfishness surprised and disappointed me. Finally I heard myself say out loud “Lord Jesus as long as they are yours. That is all I really want.”
Then a second question deeper and more unsettling than the first.
“Do you love them for who they are or for who you want them to be?” Odd, even His rebukes are sweet.
“I want to love them like you do Jesus.”
It has been several years now since all this transpired. Those two questions still echo in my heart.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Alone?
Writing this is blog is always difficult for me. Gathering my thoughts into some kind of coherent form requires discipline and concentration. Lately I have had a lot of thoughts brewing. Rather than wait until I have worked them all out I will write some here. Perhaps you all who read this can benefit from the process.
A lot has happened in the past year. Indeed in the last few years I have experienced the loss of my mother in law. My job of 26 years came to an end. My close friends have lost mothers to death; my mother had to enter a nursing home. I also started a new job with all the adjacent stresses that go with that process. I have had dear friends work through incredibly hard times, as I looked on feeling helpless and alone.
Alone is not in the economy of God. Everything about His dealings with man through the ages speaks of His close involvement with us. He creates Adam with a need for companionship and then meets that need. He goes looking for Adam and Eve after the fall. He seeks out Abraham, Moses, and Elijah. He calls the elders of Israel to “dine” with Him on the mountain. He calls His greatest gift Emmanuel, God with us. To leave us alone is the antithesis of God's glory that He so longs to reveal to us.
But I oft feel alone. The Scriptures, which He Himself breathed into life, are full of the stories of those who felt alone, abandoned. The Psalms written by the man who God describes as “a man after my own heart’, are replete with questioning cries of ‘where are you?”
Prior to going to the cross Jesus tells the disciples that He will not be alone in His passion and yet from the cross cries “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me”. The Son of Man “felt” alone as the sins of the world clouded His view of the Father. He too felt that sense of aloneness as the sin and shame blinded him to the reality of the Father.
Contrary to popular theology I do not find in Scripture God looking away from the Son as He bore the sins of the world. Instead I see as it say in 2 Corinthians “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself”. Indeed if the Father abandoned the Son on the cross then Jesus would have lied to the disciples when he said I am not alone but the Father is with me.
So to feel alone is to join that great company of the friends of God who found in the end they were anything but alone. Indeed to be alone can not happen now that I am in Him. He is mine and I am His. As much as I enjoy and like those tangible moments when God reveals His presence I am equally at home with those moments when I do not see Him.
Have you ever noticed that it was in God’s greatest silence at the cross that He was doing His greatest work of love? It is as Jesus is crying out that God cleared the debt of my sin, removed my guilt and shame and tore down all the walls that would keep me from Him. A Father and Son conspired before the foundation of the world to deliver me from aloneness.
I do not say I should enjoy my aloneness, but I do welcome it as an opportunity to bring glory to God. It is entirely likely that it is during those times He is working in me a far greater weight of glory.
Soosh..be still. God is here.
A lot has happened in the past year. Indeed in the last few years I have experienced the loss of my mother in law. My job of 26 years came to an end. My close friends have lost mothers to death; my mother had to enter a nursing home. I also started a new job with all the adjacent stresses that go with that process. I have had dear friends work through incredibly hard times, as I looked on feeling helpless and alone.
Alone is not in the economy of God. Everything about His dealings with man through the ages speaks of His close involvement with us. He creates Adam with a need for companionship and then meets that need. He goes looking for Adam and Eve after the fall. He seeks out Abraham, Moses, and Elijah. He calls the elders of Israel to “dine” with Him on the mountain. He calls His greatest gift Emmanuel, God with us. To leave us alone is the antithesis of God's glory that He so longs to reveal to us.
But I oft feel alone. The Scriptures, which He Himself breathed into life, are full of the stories of those who felt alone, abandoned. The Psalms written by the man who God describes as “a man after my own heart’, are replete with questioning cries of ‘where are you?”
Prior to going to the cross Jesus tells the disciples that He will not be alone in His passion and yet from the cross cries “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me”. The Son of Man “felt” alone as the sins of the world clouded His view of the Father. He too felt that sense of aloneness as the sin and shame blinded him to the reality of the Father.
Contrary to popular theology I do not find in Scripture God looking away from the Son as He bore the sins of the world. Instead I see as it say in 2 Corinthians “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself”. Indeed if the Father abandoned the Son on the cross then Jesus would have lied to the disciples when he said I am not alone but the Father is with me.
So to feel alone is to join that great company of the friends of God who found in the end they were anything but alone. Indeed to be alone can not happen now that I am in Him. He is mine and I am His. As much as I enjoy and like those tangible moments when God reveals His presence I am equally at home with those moments when I do not see Him.
Have you ever noticed that it was in God’s greatest silence at the cross that He was doing His greatest work of love? It is as Jesus is crying out that God cleared the debt of my sin, removed my guilt and shame and tore down all the walls that would keep me from Him. A Father and Son conspired before the foundation of the world to deliver me from aloneness.
I do not say I should enjoy my aloneness, but I do welcome it as an opportunity to bring glory to God. It is entirely likely that it is during those times He is working in me a far greater weight of glory.
Soosh..be still. God is here.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Ancient Paths Volume Two
Well here is Volume 2 of my list. There are so many that I have read over the years that have blessed me and that God has used. This list is not exhaustive but merely reflects those that have had the most profound impact on me. Most of these I have read many times. My goal with this present project is cover ground that I my have forgotten.
Some have ask me would I consider doing a similar list for movies and songs. I will if enough people are interested but it may be awhile since I feel I need to cover some other things in my next few blogs.
So here is the list. Please leave comments here on the blog or by facebook or email. Thank all of you who have commented it has been very encouraging.
Let Us Praise- Judson Cornwall. Reminded me that when it is all said and done I was made to worship and to do so makes us aware of the presence of God.
Messy Spirituality and Dangerous Wonder- Mike Yaconelli. The day Mike died I sat in my chair and cried this heaving aching crying. I ask the Lord why it hurt so badly. What came to mind was “there are so few who shine the love of Christ this brightly”. Amen
Ragamuffin Gospel- Brennan Manning. OMG literally. The cross never looked so beautiful.
Daring to Draw Near-John White. God used this book to help me see prayer as a two-way conversation.
Intimate Intercession-Trica Rhodes. Good books on prayer make you want to put it down and start praying. I almost never finished this book.
God Moment Principle- Alan Wright. Alan Wright is one of those treasures so few know about. Deep water and well worth the swim.
Work of Heart and The Present Future- Reggie McNeal. Work of Heart is the single best book I have ever read on how God shapes us.
How We Grow- Townsend and Cloud- in my 30+ years of following Christ, this is the best book I have ever read on spiritual growth.
Divine Conspiracy; Hearing God; and Spirit of the Disciplines. -Dallas Willard. The Divine Conspiracy – Richard Foster describes it as the book he had been waiting for all his life, I agree. Awesome. I read this for the first time as I was also reading the Sacred Romance for the first time. Together they were like a glass of cold water after a day working in the yard. My heart said “at last someone is saying what I have been thinking and feeling.”
Dangerous Duty of Delight- John Piper. This is a way scaled down version of Desiring God. This little book captures the heart of the larger work. Joy is my birthright in Christ but I have to fight for it. Thank God for John Piper.
So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore- Wayne Jacobson and Dave Coleman. - Man this little parable God used to set me free from the tyranny thinking religiously about church.
Pursuit of God- A.W. Tozer. What can I say. If you have read this you know. This should be required reading for all believers.
Religious Affections and Freedom of the Will-Jonathan Edwards. Edwards’ clarity of thought and sound Biblical wisdom captured my heart early in my walk with Christ. Indeed if I were forced to reduce my list of favorite authors down to 3 or 4, Edwards would be on the list.
Institutes of the Christian Religion- John Calvin. Again his clarity of thought, even when I disagreed with him helped me to root my theology in Scripture.
He Loves Me-Wayne Jacobson. What I call the other side of the cross. The cross not as just punish for sin. The cross as the cure for sin. God used this book to remind me that God did not need the cross to love me, I needed it to love Him. The sacrifice was all His.
Some have ask me would I consider doing a similar list for movies and songs. I will if enough people are interested but it may be awhile since I feel I need to cover some other things in my next few blogs.
So here is the list. Please leave comments here on the blog or by facebook or email. Thank all of you who have commented it has been very encouraging.
Let Us Praise- Judson Cornwall. Reminded me that when it is all said and done I was made to worship and to do so makes us aware of the presence of God.
Messy Spirituality and Dangerous Wonder- Mike Yaconelli. The day Mike died I sat in my chair and cried this heaving aching crying. I ask the Lord why it hurt so badly. What came to mind was “there are so few who shine the love of Christ this brightly”. Amen
Ragamuffin Gospel- Brennan Manning. OMG literally. The cross never looked so beautiful.
Daring to Draw Near-John White. God used this book to help me see prayer as a two-way conversation.
Intimate Intercession-Trica Rhodes. Good books on prayer make you want to put it down and start praying. I almost never finished this book.
God Moment Principle- Alan Wright. Alan Wright is one of those treasures so few know about. Deep water and well worth the swim.
Work of Heart and The Present Future- Reggie McNeal. Work of Heart is the single best book I have ever read on how God shapes us.
How We Grow- Townsend and Cloud- in my 30+ years of following Christ, this is the best book I have ever read on spiritual growth.
Divine Conspiracy; Hearing God; and Spirit of the Disciplines. -Dallas Willard. The Divine Conspiracy – Richard Foster describes it as the book he had been waiting for all his life, I agree. Awesome. I read this for the first time as I was also reading the Sacred Romance for the first time. Together they were like a glass of cold water after a day working in the yard. My heart said “at last someone is saying what I have been thinking and feeling.”
Dangerous Duty of Delight- John Piper. This is a way scaled down version of Desiring God. This little book captures the heart of the larger work. Joy is my birthright in Christ but I have to fight for it. Thank God for John Piper.
So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore- Wayne Jacobson and Dave Coleman. - Man this little parable God used to set me free from the tyranny thinking religiously about church.
Pursuit of God- A.W. Tozer. What can I say. If you have read this you know. This should be required reading for all believers.
Religious Affections and Freedom of the Will-Jonathan Edwards. Edwards’ clarity of thought and sound Biblical wisdom captured my heart early in my walk with Christ. Indeed if I were forced to reduce my list of favorite authors down to 3 or 4, Edwards would be on the list.
Institutes of the Christian Religion- John Calvin. Again his clarity of thought, even when I disagreed with him helped me to root my theology in Scripture.
He Loves Me-Wayne Jacobson. What I call the other side of the cross. The cross not as just punish for sin. The cross as the cure for sin. God used this book to remind me that God did not need the cross to love me, I needed it to love Him. The sacrifice was all His.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Ancient Paths Volume One
Recently my friend Keith and I were discussing Jesus’ knack of asking questions. Even when He was asked questions He would often respond with another question. Jesus knew full well that a truth discovered has far greater impact than one that is merely told. He always knew the right thing to say to draw people out and deal with a God who was far bigger, more present, and more awesome than pat answers, tired dogma, and lifeless morality.
Through the years Jesus has used books to answer my question and to give me the right questions to ask. Not surprisingly I have been encouraged, provoked, challenged, convicted, and cherished. The books seemed to come at just the time. As the Scriptures say “they shall all be taught of God”.
The last few months I have had this whispering in my heart to re-read some of those books to revisit those themes that have been so pivotal in my journey with Christ.
If the me of 23 years old were to meet the me now at 53 my earlier self would most likely deem me a heretic. This is as it should be though. If I indeed I have a relationship with a living God as I get to know Him my understanding of Him should grow and change.
However what has not changed is the impact these books have had on me. To re-read them is like reading old love letters. My heart warms again and I remember the love of God revealed in those works. Far from mere sentimentality, this process is a means to prevent or correct spiritual drifting. Jeremiah said stand at the crossroads and ask for the ancient paths and walk in them. Sound wisdom.
Here is a list of the first few. I call this volume 1.
Knowing God-by J.I. Packer-this was perhaps the biggest influence early in my walk with Christ.
How Should We Then Live; True Spirituality; He is There and He is Not Silent- all by Francis Schaeffer- how the modern church has forgotten his profound wisdom. I will start with True Spirituality.
Normal Christian Life- by Watchman Nee-this should be required reading for all Christians. Contains perhaps the best exposition of Romans 5-6 ever.
The Jesus I Never Knew; What’s So Amazing About Grace- by Philip Yancey- of all the authors I have read, Yancey and C.S. Lewis have had the biggest impact. I constantly read them and I am nourished, challenged, etc..
Sacred Romance; and Waking The Dead-both by John Eldredge- I cannot thank God enough for Eldredge. God has used his works to restore to me the joy of my salvation and the true heart of the gospel.
Authentic Christianity- by Ray Stedman- as a young Christian I often wondered why the church in Bible was so different than what I was seeing around me. God used Ray Stedman to answer that question.
Mere Christianity-by C.S. Lewis-I “discovered” Lewis of all places in a high school literature book. I figured he was going to slam Christianity! I remember vividly saying out loud “you mean Christians can think!” I cannot say enough about C.S. Lewis.
Through the years Jesus has used books to answer my question and to give me the right questions to ask. Not surprisingly I have been encouraged, provoked, challenged, convicted, and cherished. The books seemed to come at just the time. As the Scriptures say “they shall all be taught of God”.
The last few months I have had this whispering in my heart to re-read some of those books to revisit those themes that have been so pivotal in my journey with Christ.
If the me of 23 years old were to meet the me now at 53 my earlier self would most likely deem me a heretic. This is as it should be though. If I indeed I have a relationship with a living God as I get to know Him my understanding of Him should grow and change.
However what has not changed is the impact these books have had on me. To re-read them is like reading old love letters. My heart warms again and I remember the love of God revealed in those works. Far from mere sentimentality, this process is a means to prevent or correct spiritual drifting. Jeremiah said stand at the crossroads and ask for the ancient paths and walk in them. Sound wisdom.
Here is a list of the first few. I call this volume 1.
Knowing God-by J.I. Packer-this was perhaps the biggest influence early in my walk with Christ.
How Should We Then Live; True Spirituality; He is There and He is Not Silent- all by Francis Schaeffer- how the modern church has forgotten his profound wisdom. I will start with True Spirituality.
Normal Christian Life- by Watchman Nee-this should be required reading for all Christians. Contains perhaps the best exposition of Romans 5-6 ever.
The Jesus I Never Knew; What’s So Amazing About Grace- by Philip Yancey- of all the authors I have read, Yancey and C.S. Lewis have had the biggest impact. I constantly read them and I am nourished, challenged, etc..
Sacred Romance; and Waking The Dead-both by John Eldredge- I cannot thank God enough for Eldredge. God has used his works to restore to me the joy of my salvation and the true heart of the gospel.
Authentic Christianity- by Ray Stedman- as a young Christian I often wondered why the church in Bible was so different than what I was seeing around me. God used Ray Stedman to answer that question.
Mere Christianity-by C.S. Lewis-I “discovered” Lewis of all places in a high school literature book. I figured he was going to slam Christianity! I remember vividly saying out loud “you mean Christians can think!” I cannot say enough about C.S. Lewis.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wonder
“Burn off the dross, innocence captured again”
When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God- Van Morrison
Coming home from work yesterday I passed by several of the kids from the neighborhood as they were walking to the convenience store. I was struck by how much those boys had grown. In their early teens now, they were little boys when we moved into the neighborhood seven years ago.
I was struck by how many times I had passed my son with his friends at that age all waking to the store. The names have changed, but the living has not. My son now in his “late” teens has different friends and interest. He is becoming an adult with adult values, adult problems, interest, etc.
For a moment I was reminded how we loose our sense of wonder. “You must become like little children to receive the kingdom,” Jesus said. Is it possible to grow older in years and younger in heart? As the Bob Dylan song says, “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now”?
The answer is yes. The question is how?
To be honest I am not all that sure. I have always thought of trials as the way God “burns off the dross” in order to make us holy and pure. I still think that is true but…
Trials do make us more dependent on God and dependence is a childlike quality. Trials do focus us on what really matters. If embraced they do make us “stronger”. But is God after something bigger? I think so. Is it possible that one of His intentions is to make us wonder filled? Could it be He is restoring the innocence of the heart to see Him through the eyes of a child? Could it be that the Spirit is bringing us into the joy of Christ so that instead of our hearts going “woe is me,” we go “Awe!” with that breathless wonder that only children seem to know?
So I stop and watch the sun set even though end of the day duties call. I watch a bluebird on my deck bask in the morning sun even though the events of the pending day call me to urgency. I listen to that story that my co-worker shares even though there are “things to do” yelling at me from my desk.
And I take time to imagine. I imagine what it will be like to sit in my Mom and Dad's kitchen in a new heaven and new earth with all those wonderful people who have sat there through the years. And new faces as well. Jesus passing the chicken and saying “you remember that time?” I imagine my dad with memory now fully restored, my mom with knees no longer racked with arthritis pain. I hear Jesus say, “Here you want some more tea?” And we all laugh, and laugh, and laugh as Jesus pours water into glass and it becomes iced tea.
And I stop and am quiet and know that He is God. And I am filled… with wonder.
When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God- Van Morrison
Coming home from work yesterday I passed by several of the kids from the neighborhood as they were walking to the convenience store. I was struck by how much those boys had grown. In their early teens now, they were little boys when we moved into the neighborhood seven years ago.
I was struck by how many times I had passed my son with his friends at that age all waking to the store. The names have changed, but the living has not. My son now in his “late” teens has different friends and interest. He is becoming an adult with adult values, adult problems, interest, etc.
For a moment I was reminded how we loose our sense of wonder. “You must become like little children to receive the kingdom,” Jesus said. Is it possible to grow older in years and younger in heart? As the Bob Dylan song says, “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now”?
The answer is yes. The question is how?
To be honest I am not all that sure. I have always thought of trials as the way God “burns off the dross” in order to make us holy and pure. I still think that is true but…
Trials do make us more dependent on God and dependence is a childlike quality. Trials do focus us on what really matters. If embraced they do make us “stronger”. But is God after something bigger? I think so. Is it possible that one of His intentions is to make us wonder filled? Could it be He is restoring the innocence of the heart to see Him through the eyes of a child? Could it be that the Spirit is bringing us into the joy of Christ so that instead of our hearts going “woe is me,” we go “Awe!” with that breathless wonder that only children seem to know?
So I stop and watch the sun set even though end of the day duties call. I watch a bluebird on my deck bask in the morning sun even though the events of the pending day call me to urgency. I listen to that story that my co-worker shares even though there are “things to do” yelling at me from my desk.
And I take time to imagine. I imagine what it will be like to sit in my Mom and Dad's kitchen in a new heaven and new earth with all those wonderful people who have sat there through the years. And new faces as well. Jesus passing the chicken and saying “you remember that time?” I imagine my dad with memory now fully restored, my mom with knees no longer racked with arthritis pain. I hear Jesus say, “Here you want some more tea?” And we all laugh, and laugh, and laugh as Jesus pours water into glass and it becomes iced tea.
And I stop and am quiet and know that He is God. And I am filled… with wonder.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Changes
My friend Joel posted some pictures on facebook from our Bible study fellowship of 30 years ago. With a mixture of joy and sadness I looked over each photo. In many cases I could not remember the specific events but boy did I remember those people!
Face after face I remembered conversations, joys, struggles, hopes, dreams. I heard their laughter again and saw again the light of Christ in their eyes. I longed to be with them again. How grateful to God I am for them and those times.
Then there is my bookstore family. I will forever thank God for the honor of knowing and loving these wonderful people. Words fail me….
The past few months have been ones of tremendous change and transition. My job of twenty-five years ended, my mother-in-law died, dear friends had parents die, my son turned 17, I developed tmj which has left a constant ringing in my ears, my mom entered a nursing home…and on and on.
Then I remember…God. Odd is it not to forget the most unforgettable person you have ever met? I look back over the photos of the Bible study group. I pulled out the photos of the bookstore staff. And I remembered. I remembered it was Jesus’ love for me and them that brought us all together. I remembered His sovereignty and providence over all my life. I remembered His utter delight in offering Himself as a sacrifice for sin so that I could know this Father and be brought into His life.
So with my Older Brother looking over my shoulder I ponder the changes. I see Him point out “look there I was in that photo. Do you see now what I was doing?” I nod yes. He points again “ Remember when you thought that was hopeless?” He smiles a wry smile. I look at the past year and hear “ I am that I am, and I will never leave you.”
The lyrics from a Cindy Morgan song softly come to mind as if whispered,
“So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way
Jesus behind me, Jesus before me, Jesus with me. The day will come when together these cherished friends we will worship with unveiled faces the One who loves us best and the glory of God will cover the earth as the waters cover the sea. Even so come Lord Jesus.
Face after face I remembered conversations, joys, struggles, hopes, dreams. I heard their laughter again and saw again the light of Christ in their eyes. I longed to be with them again. How grateful to God I am for them and those times.
Then there is my bookstore family. I will forever thank God for the honor of knowing and loving these wonderful people. Words fail me….
The past few months have been ones of tremendous change and transition. My job of twenty-five years ended, my mother-in-law died, dear friends had parents die, my son turned 17, I developed tmj which has left a constant ringing in my ears, my mom entered a nursing home…and on and on.
Then I remember…God. Odd is it not to forget the most unforgettable person you have ever met? I look back over the photos of the Bible study group. I pulled out the photos of the bookstore staff. And I remembered. I remembered it was Jesus’ love for me and them that brought us all together. I remembered His sovereignty and providence over all my life. I remembered His utter delight in offering Himself as a sacrifice for sin so that I could know this Father and be brought into His life.
So with my Older Brother looking over my shoulder I ponder the changes. I see Him point out “look there I was in that photo. Do you see now what I was doing?” I nod yes. He points again “ Remember when you thought that was hopeless?” He smiles a wry smile. I look at the past year and hear “ I am that I am, and I will never leave you.”
The lyrics from a Cindy Morgan song softly come to mind as if whispered,
“So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way
Jesus behind me, Jesus before me, Jesus with me. The day will come when together these cherished friends we will worship with unveiled faces the One who loves us best and the glory of God will cover the earth as the waters cover the sea. Even so come Lord Jesus.
Friday, April 2, 2010
A Parable
Once upon a time an eagle’s egg rolled out of a hole in the nest. It rolled gently down the mountain trail arriving safely in the farmyard below.
As it turned out a hen passing by saw it and assuming it was a chicken egg, rolled to her nest where she proceeded to hatch it.
Our young eagle grew up with the chickens. He ate with the chickens, slept with the chickens, and ran about the barnyard with the chickens. However he would often look at the eagles soaring above and long to fly. Suddenly the other chickens would notice the eagles above and beginning running for cover. He too would run and hide.
“I wish I could fly,” he would moan. “Don’t be silly. You are just a chicken” the other chickens would reply.
One day as our eagle roamed about the yard he got far from the other chickens. Suddenly he heard screeching and saw the chickens running for cover as an eagle swooped into the barnyard. He was too far away to catch up with the others and round himself face to face with the eagle.
Looking him over the attacker ask, “ What are doing here with these chickens?”
“I am a chicken, where else would I be?” he replied trembling. “Please don’t eat me!”
“Chicken? Eat you?” Our visitor was clearly puzzled. “You don’t know you are an eagle?”
“What?” his curiosity aroused.
The other eagle eyed him over, walked all around him several times. Sounding somewhat puzzled he ask, “ Have you never wondered why you look different from the other “chickens”?”
“Oh” he replied, “ I just assumed I was not a very attractive chicken”
His new friend just shook his head. Then with a twinkle in his eye he said “ Why don’t you take off running with me and start flapping your wings and lets see what happens.”
Reluctant to trust an eagle and yet feeling strangely comfortable he agreed.
“Now do what I do and when I say jump, then jump and start flapping your wings.”
He ran only two or three feet with the other eagle when he heard “JUMP!” Suddenly he was airborne. “Keep flapping slow and steady like me,” his teacher admonished.
Bewildered and exhilarated he climbed higher and higher. Suddenly fear gripped him. “What am I doing? I am a chicken”. His friend smiled and replied “Are you really now?”
“I have been wrong for so long. I am not a very good eagle. I feel so foolish. What if …if I fall?
Smiling his teacher spoke, “ You are asking the wrong question?”
Circling round and round he asks, “What is the right question?”
“What if I learn to soar?”
As it turned out a hen passing by saw it and assuming it was a chicken egg, rolled to her nest where she proceeded to hatch it.
Our young eagle grew up with the chickens. He ate with the chickens, slept with the chickens, and ran about the barnyard with the chickens. However he would often look at the eagles soaring above and long to fly. Suddenly the other chickens would notice the eagles above and beginning running for cover. He too would run and hide.
“I wish I could fly,” he would moan. “Don’t be silly. You are just a chicken” the other chickens would reply.
One day as our eagle roamed about the yard he got far from the other chickens. Suddenly he heard screeching and saw the chickens running for cover as an eagle swooped into the barnyard. He was too far away to catch up with the others and round himself face to face with the eagle.
Looking him over the attacker ask, “ What are doing here with these chickens?”
“I am a chicken, where else would I be?” he replied trembling. “Please don’t eat me!”
“Chicken? Eat you?” Our visitor was clearly puzzled. “You don’t know you are an eagle?”
“What?” his curiosity aroused.
The other eagle eyed him over, walked all around him several times. Sounding somewhat puzzled he ask, “ Have you never wondered why you look different from the other “chickens”?”
“Oh” he replied, “ I just assumed I was not a very attractive chicken”
His new friend just shook his head. Then with a twinkle in his eye he said “ Why don’t you take off running with me and start flapping your wings and lets see what happens.”
Reluctant to trust an eagle and yet feeling strangely comfortable he agreed.
“Now do what I do and when I say jump, then jump and start flapping your wings.”
He ran only two or three feet with the other eagle when he heard “JUMP!” Suddenly he was airborne. “Keep flapping slow and steady like me,” his teacher admonished.
Bewildered and exhilarated he climbed higher and higher. Suddenly fear gripped him. “What am I doing? I am a chicken”. His friend smiled and replied “Are you really now?”
“I have been wrong for so long. I am not a very good eagle. I feel so foolish. What if …if I fall?
Smiling his teacher spoke, “ You are asking the wrong question?”
Circling round and round he asks, “What is the right question?”
“What if I learn to soar?”
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Free Fall
I think I am in a good place, but it does not “feel” that way. No job, no clear idea what I want to do, deep in debt, restless and in some ways heartless.
This is free fall. No moorings, no net, only the promise I will never leave you nor forsake you.
I had grown bored in my job and had prayed and grumbled for years. The past year I was so bored most of the time that it almost physically hurt. I even told friends that the job had become toxic for me, I was drying up. But afraid to leave and not hearing from God I lingered on. If it were not for the wonderful people I worked with I would have despaired. But as one of my coworkers reminded me “God knew that unless he closed the store we would never leave each other”. How true.
So how am handling free fall? Depression, anxiety, doubt… I am not so sure this is not normal. My theology is challenged, my propensity to sin is even more apparent, and I am tired in my soul. The things I trusted in for security are shattered or exposed for their limitations.
So I go tumbling head over heel. And yet along way I catch glimpses of Him. I have to be helpless. As long as I am trying to help myself I will miss Him. As I grasp to hang on to something I will miss holding Him, or better yet realizing He has been holding me all along.
I watch a television show the other day about a family that wanted to go skydiving for a day. They went to this place that gave them some instructions. Within in a couple of hours they were in the air. I thought you had to have days of training and practice. But when it came time to jump I realized that the instructor was strap to the jumper! All they had to do was enjoy the falling; he would know when to pull the chute.
Is this not what I really want. To be with Jesus so close that if he says jump I jump with the confidence that He is there. Do I not want all my false loves; false securities replace with a living, personal friendship with God? Do I not want my selfish agendas replaced with His unending forever good kingdom? How else will I get there unless He periodically throws me from the plane?
With no net, no moorings, my agendas in disarray I fall. My dreams and plans and desires are now in His hands. All I can do is fall, and wait to be caught by God's unfailing hands.
This is free fall. No moorings, no net, only the promise I will never leave you nor forsake you.
I had grown bored in my job and had prayed and grumbled for years. The past year I was so bored most of the time that it almost physically hurt. I even told friends that the job had become toxic for me, I was drying up. But afraid to leave and not hearing from God I lingered on. If it were not for the wonderful people I worked with I would have despaired. But as one of my coworkers reminded me “God knew that unless he closed the store we would never leave each other”. How true.
So how am handling free fall? Depression, anxiety, doubt… I am not so sure this is not normal. My theology is challenged, my propensity to sin is even more apparent, and I am tired in my soul. The things I trusted in for security are shattered or exposed for their limitations.
So I go tumbling head over heel. And yet along way I catch glimpses of Him. I have to be helpless. As long as I am trying to help myself I will miss Him. As I grasp to hang on to something I will miss holding Him, or better yet realizing He has been holding me all along.
I watch a television show the other day about a family that wanted to go skydiving for a day. They went to this place that gave them some instructions. Within in a couple of hours they were in the air. I thought you had to have days of training and practice. But when it came time to jump I realized that the instructor was strap to the jumper! All they had to do was enjoy the falling; he would know when to pull the chute.
Is this not what I really want. To be with Jesus so close that if he says jump I jump with the confidence that He is there. Do I not want all my false loves; false securities replace with a living, personal friendship with God? Do I not want my selfish agendas replaced with His unending forever good kingdom? How else will I get there unless He periodically throws me from the plane?
With no net, no moorings, my agendas in disarray I fall. My dreams and plans and desires are now in His hands. All I can do is fall, and wait to be caught by God's unfailing hands.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Center of My Own Attention
The past few months have been tough to say the least. Loosing my job of twenty-five years hit me harder then I had expected. Even though it was time to leave it still threw me for a spin. Anxiety, panic attacks and depression seem to come on like a lion attacking from out of nowhere.
Add to that my natural tendency to be negative and you get one big self-absorbed mess.
Crying out to God I wanted relief more than him. He sent ample mercy from friends and strangers alike. It was “not enough”. Actually I did not want the adversity at all. Like most Americans I wanted peace and comfort, a quick fix.
Emotional distress, my wife reminds, is like physical illness. When I have the flu or some other physical sickness it is for a time all I can think about. I think about how bad I feel and how I want relief. Emotional sickness produces the same level of self-absorption.
Emotional or physical pain can distort my view of reality and cause me to loose perspective. Ad to that the spiritual dynamic with the enemy of my soul looking to exploit any weakness or problem to turn me from God, and you come away feeling lost.
That brings me to Gethsemane. Jesus knowing full well what he had to do got depressed to the point of death. He gathered his closest friends to be with him. They fell asleep. And there in the garden he wept and cried alone. There he did what I could not do, he trusted God and turned from himself to his Fathers will. Jesus’ act of unselfish trust would put and end to death and hopelessness.
So I will not beat myself up for being human. Slowly the fog will lift. God is God regardless if I can see his hand or not. He will walk me out of my self-absorbed season. He will heal and restore. My vision will clear and I will see my Father.
Add to that my natural tendency to be negative and you get one big self-absorbed mess.
Crying out to God I wanted relief more than him. He sent ample mercy from friends and strangers alike. It was “not enough”. Actually I did not want the adversity at all. Like most Americans I wanted peace and comfort, a quick fix.
Emotional distress, my wife reminds, is like physical illness. When I have the flu or some other physical sickness it is for a time all I can think about. I think about how bad I feel and how I want relief. Emotional sickness produces the same level of self-absorption.
Emotional or physical pain can distort my view of reality and cause me to loose perspective. Ad to that the spiritual dynamic with the enemy of my soul looking to exploit any weakness or problem to turn me from God, and you come away feeling lost.
That brings me to Gethsemane. Jesus knowing full well what he had to do got depressed to the point of death. He gathered his closest friends to be with him. They fell asleep. And there in the garden he wept and cried alone. There he did what I could not do, he trusted God and turned from himself to his Fathers will. Jesus’ act of unselfish trust would put and end to death and hopelessness.
So I will not beat myself up for being human. Slowly the fog will lift. God is God regardless if I can see his hand or not. He will walk me out of my self-absorbed season. He will heal and restore. My vision will clear and I will see my Father.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Grow in Grace
What does it mean to grow in grace? Not that I am expert on such things but I have come to believe that this is one of best invitations that God offers.
I do not think grace is natural to us. I think trying real hard is natural. And yet to grow in grace I think is to progressively live in the wonder that I am redeemed, forgiven, adored by God’s free choice. It is letting the weight of His magnificent, extravagant, generosity shape my life with Him. It is living performance free. Obedience is no longer obligation is to get God to “bless” or to avoid bad consequences, it is an expression of love between Father and son.
I do not think grace is natural to us. I think trying real hard is natural. And yet to grow in grace I think is to progressively live in the wonder that I am redeemed, forgiven, adored by God’s free choice. It is letting the weight of His magnificent, extravagant, generosity shape my life with Him. It is living performance free. Obedience is no longer obligation is to get God to “bless” or to avoid bad consequences, it is an expression of love between Father and son.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Kingdoms
I was talking with a friend the other day about history. I was reminded that all earthly kingdoms tend to follow a pattern of rise and fall. The U.S. is no different.
Though a history major myself I had forgotten this enviable pattern. I thought of Augustus in Rome declaring a new world order (actually used the Greek word ‘gospel’) and how the Roman peace would last forever. Right. It made me think of our own history of how this government “of the people, by the people, for the people will never perish from the earth”. Next….
In almost the same instant I realized afresh Jesus’ emphasis on the kingdom of God, the rule of God that survives all earthly kingdoms. I thought of the verse in Isaiah, which promised the government would be on His shoulders. The promise of His coming gave me pause to reflect and refocus.
I am to relate to this world as the son of another world. I am to walk with Him and follow Him as a fisher of men. I am to seek first the kingdom.
Though a history major myself I had forgotten this enviable pattern. I thought of Augustus in Rome declaring a new world order (actually used the Greek word ‘gospel’) and how the Roman peace would last forever. Right. It made me think of our own history of how this government “of the people, by the people, for the people will never perish from the earth”. Next….
In almost the same instant I realized afresh Jesus’ emphasis on the kingdom of God, the rule of God that survives all earthly kingdoms. I thought of the verse in Isaiah, which promised the government would be on His shoulders. The promise of His coming gave me pause to reflect and refocus.
I am to relate to this world as the son of another world. I am to walk with Him and follow Him as a fisher of men. I am to seek first the kingdom.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Update
At the request of several friends I am going to try and be a bit more consistent with this blog. To my surprise it seems to be helping some folks in their relationship with God.
Please send comments, questions, etc… feel free to pass the blog on to anyone to whom you think it may be of value.
The duel name of the blog View from Here, and following the wild goose are special to me. It means this is what I am seeing of life in Christ now as I follow the Spirit(the wild goose). As such the “view” changes with the times and seasons of my life.
From time to time I will mention books, music, movies etc.. that God has used to bless me. In doing so I am not endorsing everything that particular person says, believes, whatever, but only as it is relevant to topic being discussed.
Please send comments, questions, etc… feel free to pass the blog on to anyone to whom you think it may be of value.
The duel name of the blog View from Here, and following the wild goose are special to me. It means this is what I am seeing of life in Christ now as I follow the Spirit(the wild goose). As such the “view” changes with the times and seasons of my life.
From time to time I will mention books, music, movies etc.. that God has used to bless me. In doing so I am not endorsing everything that particular person says, believes, whatever, but only as it is relevant to topic being discussed.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Living the Story
A few years ago felt compeled to read through the Bible chronologically. It was a great expereice. So much so I did it again the following year. But this time I sensed somethig. I was getting a sense of something going on between the lines. A third year pasted and again I read through the Bible chronilogically.
At first I did not know what was going on. But overtime I was developing a new way of reading the Bible. As the Scripture says they shall all be taught by God. I later realized He was teaching to catch the STORY of redempention.
Something was changing in me. I saw His story in other people. I saw it in me. I heard those who told me of child sexaul abuse, of distant parnets, of spouse who died too soon, and on and on.
Suffering is part of the story but not the whole story.
In all this the most persistent sense was that I was being invited to join the story of God. I was welcome to journy into this holy wild. To share in His life and suffering so that I would know Him. To be my father's son.
At first I did not know what was going on. But overtime I was developing a new way of reading the Bible. As the Scripture says they shall all be taught by God. I later realized He was teaching to catch the STORY of redempention.
Something was changing in me. I saw His story in other people. I saw it in me. I heard those who told me of child sexaul abuse, of distant parnets, of spouse who died too soon, and on and on.
Suffering is part of the story but not the whole story.
In all this the most persistent sense was that I was being invited to join the story of God. I was welcome to journy into this holy wild. To share in His life and suffering so that I would know Him. To be my father's son.
Monday, July 13, 2009
No Labels Please
I have had occasion to reflect on coming to Jesus. You see on that night when I surrendered, accepted, repented, got saved etc.. I did not have much of a theology. That night I did not consider the virgin birth, or the inerrancy of Scripture. I did not consider baptism modes, church attendance, or worship styles. I was not Reformed, Baptist, Charismatic, or anything other than a sinner, painfully aware of his lostness.
So as Bob Carpenter shared the gospel with me I heard Rev.3:20 as invitation. I did know and believe at that moment that Jesus's death was for my sin, that He loved me and that He was alive and offering me forgiveness. I knew God was asking to sit at my table and I at His. I knew at that moment I wanted God and He wanted me.
In the years to come I would consider other things. I would be at times Baptist, Charismatic, Reformed and even Fundamentalist! I would try to plant churches and reform churches. I would teach and teach and teach... I would tout discipleship, small groups, house churches, purpose driven living, missional community, on and on...
In each season I would loose sight of Jesus and He would have to bring me back around.
So what am I saying? Perhaps the words to this hymn say it best " My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name."
I am a sinner made a saint and I just want to know Jesus and love him and follow him. I have learned that I am a leaf and He is the Wind.
Perhaps I am naive or deceived. But at this point in the journey...no labels please.
Monday, February 16, 2009
And the band played on
I was recently received an invitation to meet with Jonathan Falwell. He was coming to town and wanted to talk with some pastors about some thoughts he had about Danville. I was hesitant at first but thought better and decided to go.
The gist of the meeting was that their (Thomas Roads Baptist and Southern Baptist Conservatives of Virginia) studies indicate that 70% of Danville is unchurched. Jonathan Falwell and team believe that God may want them to plant a satellite of Thomas Roads in Danville. The purpose of the meeting was to share the idea with other pastors in the area who had shown and interest in church planting.
I really respect Falwell's approach and he and the team that came with him were very gracious and definitely showed excitement over what God might do here. Indeed any seeking the well being of Danville is a good thing.
There were about 20 or more pastors there at the luncheon. The conversation was open and honest. Some expressed concern about loosing members. Some said there was no need for another church in Danville. All expressed great concern for those who are lost in Danville.
I put in my two cents worth. I will not go into that here other than to say I was a bit negative. If you want the full story email me.
What I will put here is this: I think the focus was all wrong. Danville does not need another Sunday morning social club or boxed event. We don't need more of the same. My contention is that what is needed is for the church to be the church. No more consumer Christianity, no more market share battles, no more NO MORE religious obligations.
And that is just the beginning. The whole thing was wrong on so many levels. I was so frustrated at the whole process. Gathered there were good and godly men whom God is using. And yet this was the wrong discussion. Why not discuss how we as leaders were going to stop competing and start working together? Why not pray out our differences with the Spirit present to direct us? Why not share our concerns for the community and together seek God for His solutions? Why not redefine our definition of church that does not involve narrow cultural expressions?
I am not sure why the Lord had me there but I am glad He did. In the end I had to look at myself and ask do I love Him? Is Jesus my life my all? So I will begin to ask Him again "what do you want for Danville". I will pray over the things that I have previously complained about. I will ask Him to reset my focus on what is truly important.
So will Thomas Roads Baptist plant a "church" here? What do you think?
And the band played on and on....
The gist of the meeting was that their (Thomas Roads Baptist and Southern Baptist Conservatives of Virginia) studies indicate that 70% of Danville is unchurched. Jonathan Falwell and team believe that God may want them to plant a satellite of Thomas Roads in Danville. The purpose of the meeting was to share the idea with other pastors in the area who had shown and interest in church planting.
I really respect Falwell's approach and he and the team that came with him were very gracious and definitely showed excitement over what God might do here. Indeed any seeking the well being of Danville is a good thing.
There were about 20 or more pastors there at the luncheon. The conversation was open and honest. Some expressed concern about loosing members. Some said there was no need for another church in Danville. All expressed great concern for those who are lost in Danville.
I put in my two cents worth. I will not go into that here other than to say I was a bit negative. If you want the full story email me.
What I will put here is this: I think the focus was all wrong. Danville does not need another Sunday morning social club or boxed event. We don't need more of the same. My contention is that what is needed is for the church to be the church. No more consumer Christianity, no more market share battles, no more NO MORE religious obligations.
And that is just the beginning. The whole thing was wrong on so many levels. I was so frustrated at the whole process. Gathered there were good and godly men whom God is using. And yet this was the wrong discussion. Why not discuss how we as leaders were going to stop competing and start working together? Why not pray out our differences with the Spirit present to direct us? Why not share our concerns for the community and together seek God for His solutions? Why not redefine our definition of church that does not involve narrow cultural expressions?
I am not sure why the Lord had me there but I am glad He did. In the end I had to look at myself and ask do I love Him? Is Jesus my life my all? So I will begin to ask Him again "what do you want for Danville". I will pray over the things that I have previously complained about. I will ask Him to reset my focus on what is truly important.
So will Thomas Roads Baptist plant a "church" here? What do you think?
And the band played on and on....
Saturday, October 25, 2008
He Restoreth My Soul
This past Monday I went to Damascus , Va and rode the Virgina Creeper Trail with my friend Lonnie. (Sorry Keith and Melissa I will visit you guys next time). The trail follows an old railroad track down from White Top Mountain station to the town of Abington. It is 34 miles total. Lonnie and I only did about half.
The trip had been on my mind for several weeks before my vacation. I was not sure I wanted to drive the 3 1/2 hours to get there. As it turned out Lonnie actually visited Danville the week before my vacation. When I told him what I was considering he was very excited. It was then I began to see this as a God thing. Maybe God was telling me I needed to go.
So on Oct 18th leaving before sunrise I set out for Damascus. I drove in silence, no radio just prayers and thoughts. As I reached the mountains the morning sun begin to crest over the tops of the trees. There was a heavy frost that morning. As the light of sun hit the frost and the golds, yellows, reds and greens of the mountains...oh my. Joy stirred deep in me.
Finally turning off the interstate I took highway 91 into Damascus. It is about 12 miles through winding farm country. I rolled down my window and let the cool mountain air fill the car. I broke the silence and listened to a podcast I had on the mercy of God. For fans of Lord of the Rings I felt I was in the Shire.
The rich colors and smells. The farms and babbling brooks on every side. So much beauty.
Though it only took the Bike Station shuttle 20 minutes to take our group to the top it took 3 hours to come back. Lonnie and I stopped a lot! The views were spectacular. The conversation even better.
Lonnie said " I prayed all the way here today". "Me too". He smiled that knowing smile that God was up to something. We spoke of old friends and hopes and struggles. We spoke of Gods faithfulness even though we often did not feel worth His effort.
All around creation proclaimed His glory. Slowly our conversation turned to Gods goodness. We spoke of hope and wonder. We soaked up the beauty around us.
Finally it was time to return home. I traveled back down hwy 91 with the afternoon sun bathing the farms in bright warm hues. I drove slowly, silently. As I reflected on the day tears formed. For the first time in a long time I shed tears of joy. I whispered my thank you Jesus. A school bus stopped to let out some elementary school kids. They were laughing as kids do. Dressed for the fall coolness in bright jackets and parkas. "Thank you Jesus". How like a child I felt at that moment.
I drove home in silence. Something happened on this trip. There was no revelations, no profound insights. But in the quiet and the beauty He restored my soul.
The trip had been on my mind for several weeks before my vacation. I was not sure I wanted to drive the 3 1/2 hours to get there. As it turned out Lonnie actually visited Danville the week before my vacation. When I told him what I was considering he was very excited. It was then I began to see this as a God thing. Maybe God was telling me I needed to go.
So on Oct 18th leaving before sunrise I set out for Damascus. I drove in silence, no radio just prayers and thoughts. As I reached the mountains the morning sun begin to crest over the tops of the trees. There was a heavy frost that morning. As the light of sun hit the frost and the golds, yellows, reds and greens of the mountains...oh my. Joy stirred deep in me.
Finally turning off the interstate I took highway 91 into Damascus. It is about 12 miles through winding farm country. I rolled down my window and let the cool mountain air fill the car. I broke the silence and listened to a podcast I had on the mercy of God. For fans of Lord of the Rings I felt I was in the Shire.
The rich colors and smells. The farms and babbling brooks on every side. So much beauty.
Though it only took the Bike Station shuttle 20 minutes to take our group to the top it took 3 hours to come back. Lonnie and I stopped a lot! The views were spectacular. The conversation even better.
Lonnie said " I prayed all the way here today". "Me too". He smiled that knowing smile that God was up to something. We spoke of old friends and hopes and struggles. We spoke of Gods faithfulness even though we often did not feel worth His effort.
All around creation proclaimed His glory. Slowly our conversation turned to Gods goodness. We spoke of hope and wonder. We soaked up the beauty around us.
Finally it was time to return home. I traveled back down hwy 91 with the afternoon sun bathing the farms in bright warm hues. I drove slowly, silently. As I reflected on the day tears formed. For the first time in a long time I shed tears of joy. I whispered my thank you Jesus. A school bus stopped to let out some elementary school kids. They were laughing as kids do. Dressed for the fall coolness in bright jackets and parkas. "Thank you Jesus". How like a child I felt at that moment.
I drove home in silence. Something happened on this trip. There was no revelations, no profound insights. But in the quiet and the beauty He restored my soul.
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