The Center of My Own Attention

The past few months have been tough to say the least. Loosing my job of twenty-five years hit me harder then I had expected. Even though it was time to leave it still threw me for a spin. Anxiety, panic attacks and depression seem to come on like a lion attacking from out of nowhere.

Add to that my natural tendency to be negative and you get one big self-absorbed mess.

Crying out to God I wanted relief more than him. He sent ample mercy from friends and strangers alike. It was “not enough”. Actually I did not want the adversity at all. Like most Americans I wanted peace and comfort, a quick fix.

Emotional distress, my wife reminds, is like physical illness. When I have the flu or some other physical sickness it is for a time all I can think about. I think about how bad I feel and how I want relief. Emotional sickness produces the same level of self-absorption.

Emotional or physical pain can distort my view of reality and cause me to loose perspective. Ad to that the spiritual dynamic with the enemy of my soul looking to exploit any weakness or problem to turn me from God, and you come away feeling lost.

That brings me to Gethsemane. Jesus knowing full well what he had to do got depressed to the point of death. He gathered his closest friends to be with him. They fell asleep. And there in the garden he wept and cried alone. There he did what I could not do, he trusted God and turned from himself to his Fathers will. Jesus’ act of unselfish trust would put and end to death and hopelessness.

So I will not beat myself up for being human. Slowly the fog will lift. God is God regardless if I can see his hand or not. He will walk me out of my self-absorbed season. He will heal and restore. My vision will clear and I will see my Father.

Grow in Grace

What does it mean to grow in grace? Not that I am expert on such things but I have come to believe that this is one of best invitations that God offers.

I do not think grace is natural to us. I think trying real hard is natural. And yet to grow in grace I think is to progressively live in the wonder that I am redeemed, forgiven, adored by God’s free choice. It is letting the weight of His magnificent, extravagant, generosity shape my life with Him. It is living performance free. Obedience is no longer obligation is to get God to “bless” or to avoid bad consequences, it is an expression of love between Father and son.

Kingdoms

I was talking with a friend the other day about history. I was reminded that all earthly kingdoms tend to follow a pattern of rise and fall. The U.S. is no different.

Though a history major myself I had forgotten this enviable pattern. I thought of Augustus in Rome declaring a new world order (actually used the Greek word ‘gospel’) and how the Roman peace would last forever. Right. It made me think of our own history of how this government “of the people, by the people, for the people will never perish from the earth”. Next….


In almost the same instant I realized afresh Jesus’ emphasis on the kingdom of God, the rule of God that survives all earthly kingdoms. I thought of the verse in Isaiah, which promised the government would be on His shoulders. The promise of His coming gave me pause to reflect and refocus.

I am to relate to this world as the son of another world. I am to walk with Him and follow Him as a fisher of men. I am to seek first the kingdom.

Update

At the request of several friends I am going to try and be a bit more consistent with this blog. To my surprise it seems to be helping some folks in their relationship with God.

Please send comments, questions, etc… feel free to pass the blog on to anyone to whom you think it may be of value.

The duel name of the blog View from Here, and following the wild goose are special to me. It means this is what I am seeing of life in Christ now as I follow the Spirit(the wild goose). As such the “view” changes with the times and seasons of my life.

From time to time I will mention books, music, movies etc.. that God has used to bless me. In doing so I am not endorsing everything that particular person says, believes, whatever, but only as it is relevant to topic being discussed.

Living the Story

A few years ago felt compeled to read through the Bible chronologically. It was a great expereice. So much so I did it again the following year. But this time I sensed somethig. I was getting a sense of something going on between the lines. A third year pasted and again I read through the Bible chronilogically.

At first I did not know what was going on. But overtime I was developing a new way of reading the Bible. As the Scripture says they shall all be taught by God. I later realized He was teaching to catch the STORY of redempention.

Something was changing in me. I saw His story in other people. I saw it in me. I heard those who told me of child sexaul abuse, of distant parnets, of spouse who died too soon, and on and on.

Suffering is part of the story but not the whole story.

In all this the most persistent sense was that I was being invited to join the story of God. I was welcome to journy into this holy wild. To share in His life and suffering so that I would know Him. To be my father's son.

No Labels Please

I have had occasion to reflect on coming to Jesus. You see on that night when I surrendered, accepted, repented, got saved etc.. I did not have much of a theology. That night I did not consider the virgin birth, or the inerrancy of Scripture. I did not consider baptism modes, church attendance, or worship styles. I was not Reformed, Baptist, Charismatic, or anything other than a sinner, painfully aware of his lostness. So as Bob Carpenter shared the gospel with me I heard Rev.3:20 as invitation. I did know and believe at that moment that Jesus's death was for my sin, that He loved me and that He was alive and offering me forgiveness. I knew God was asking to sit at my table and I at His. I knew at that moment I wanted God and He wanted me. In the years to come I would consider other things. I would be at times Baptist, Charismatic, Reformed and even Fundamentalist! I would try to plant churches and reform churches. I would teach and teach and teach... I would tout discipleship, small groups, house churches, purpose driven living, missional community, on and on... In each season I would loose sight of Jesus and He would have to bring me back around. So what am I saying? Perhaps the words to this hymn say it best " My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name." I am a sinner made a saint and I just want to know Jesus and love him and follow him. I have learned that I am a leaf and He is the Wind. Perhaps I am naive or deceived. But at this point in the journey...no labels please.

And the band played on

I was recently received an invitation to meet with Jonathan Falwell. He was coming to town and wanted to talk with some pastors about some thoughts he had about Danville. I was hesitant at first but thought better and decided to go.

The gist of the meeting was that their (Thomas Roads Baptist and Southern Baptist Conservatives of Virginia) studies indicate that 70% of Danville is unchurched. Jonathan Falwell and team believe that God may want them to plant a satellite of Thomas Roads in Danville. The purpose of the meeting was to share the idea with other pastors in the area who had shown and interest in church planting.

I really respect Falwell's approach and he and the team that came with him were very gracious and definitely showed excitement over what God might do here. Indeed any seeking the well being of Danville is a good thing.

There were about 20 or more pastors there at the luncheon. The conversation was open and honest. Some expressed concern about loosing members. Some said there was no need for another church in Danville. All expressed great concern for those who are lost in Danville.

I put in my two cents worth. I will not go into that here other than to say I was a bit negative. If you want the full story email me.

What I will put here is this: I think the focus was all wrong. Danville does not need another Sunday morning social club or boxed event. We don't need more of the same. My contention is that what is needed is for the church to be the church. No more consumer Christianity, no more market share battles, no more NO MORE religious obligations.

And that is just the beginning. The whole thing was wrong on so many levels. I was so frustrated at the whole process. Gathered there were good and godly men whom God is using. And yet this was the wrong discussion. Why not discuss how we as leaders were going to stop competing and start working together? Why not pray out our differences with the Spirit present to direct us? Why not share our concerns for the community and together seek God for His solutions? Why not redefine our definition of church that does not involve narrow cultural expressions?

I am not sure why the Lord had me there but I am glad He did. In the end I had to look at myself and ask do I love Him? Is Jesus my life my all? So I will begin to ask Him again "what do you want for Danville". I will pray over the things that I have previously complained about. I will ask Him to reset my focus on what is truly important.

So will Thomas Roads Baptist plant a "church" here? What do you think?

And the band played on and on....