For Keith and Melissa

I had for the most part given up on blogging. I just did not feel I had anything to say that had not already been said.

But my dear friends Keith and Melissa ask to write, that it indeed helps. So here goes....

I have been praying that Jesus would bring me to that first love state with Him and believe He is indeed answering. The past few months have in some respects been hard. I see the Spirit weaning me from other "lovers". Old habits that were not under Jesus's rule, attitudes and thoughts unbecoming to Jesus.

For example, last year seemed to be about disappointment and how I handle disappointment with people. It was about trusting God to do what only He could do. The question for me last year seemed to be would I trust Him to use whatever broken road necessary to bring those I longed to see in the Kingdom. And in particular if it did not involve me. There is more...Indeed I see this now as a theme of my life. It is and will be a part of the story God tells through me.


This year seems to be about my agenda and God's. About anger and frustration verses peace and acceptance. This is a hard one but much needed. This is I believe at the heart of many of my struggles past and present. It comes down to "do you believe that I love you? That I really love you?"

In the midst of this He is been teaching about the Trinity. He has refreshed and broadened my understanding of the love relationship between the Father, Son, and Spirit. This had been very holy and very wonderful. This has been going on for about 3 years now. It is here that all the other "lessons" are taking on fresh meaning. He works to create in me the kind of intimacy that Jesus enjoys with the Father, and Spirit. The Spirit works to make real in me the resurrection of Jesus and all that the cross reveals about the heart of the Father and the Son. Father works that I know and believe Him to be my Abba, my Daddy.

In some respects this last aspect is too deep for words and too holy to be shared. And it is a revelation far from finished. I do think whatever Christ does it me this growing understanding of the Trinity is and will be a turning point.

One last point... in regards to church do remember the old expression "don't throw the baby out with the bath water?" Well I through the water out and kept the Baby! And man now what!!!!!!!!